I haven’t really talked about the relationship that I got myself into back in October. It’s been “my little secret” from blogland when it comes to those details. But something happened yesterday, it was kind of life changing. Not kind of, but really.
Marc left Sunday morning for Parris Island, SC, in hopes to becoming a United States Marine after his 13 week stay. And it already sucks. A whopping 10 hours went by before I started writing him a letter, and decided then I was going to write this here blog and talk to my blog pals. (I didn’t post this yesterday, because I worried about sounding too idk… whatever, but then I decided it’s my blog.)
I had it all planned out until I started typing. I guess first things first, meet Marc. Yes, it’s Marc with a ‘c’. It took me a while to get used to, and everybody still spells it with a ‘k’. This picture was taken right before I drove him to the recruitment office and said goodbye. This picture is everything.
Was saying goodbye to him hard? Yes. Was watching him walk to the recruiters car and not looking over at me because he knew he would break down, hard? YES.
But to me, the hardest part of all of this is knowing the above picture was the last snapshot of “our life that was.” No longer are we going to be the couple that makes macaroni for dinner in The Nook and binge watch Dexter on Netflix. There will be no more casual Sunday afternoon naps passed out on the couch because it’s too cold to do anything outside. No more trips to the park with Sadie. I am sure some of those will happen over the course of time, but it’s not longer our life. It won’t happen here. It’s no longer the day-to-day, mundane things that made up the life we created together as a couple. Late night Taco Bell runs? Is there even a Taco Bell near every Marine Corps base around the world? I don’t think so. (Pretty sad thing to think about.)
I prepared for yesterday every single day of our relationship. Marc was enlisted before we met. This was always the plan. Since the day I realized we were going to be together for a good long while, I have reminded myself daily for what was to come. The thing is, I did all of this preparing for when I said goodbye. I had it in my mind that I wasn’t going to cry. That I was going to be strong. That I was pretty much the picture perfect Marine girlfriend that he wanted me to be, and I wanted to be brave. I wanted Marc to be proud of me just like I was of him. What I didn’t mentally prepare for was the moment I walked out of the mall. I didn’t prepare for the moment of comfort his mother gave me in the waiting area, so much so it caused me to break down into the first tears of the day. I didn’t prepare to be called and asked how I was doing way more than I desired. Most of all, I didn’t prepare for the silence. There is no phone buzzing with “I love you” popping up on the screen. There is no laughter when I make a stupid joke or when he does a silly dance. It’s just Sadie and me. I knew it would happen, but I just wasn’t prepared for that. The what comes after makes the goodbye feel like a piece of cake.
That is what my life was before I met him. Sit at home on Sunday night, drink a glass of wine, blog, snuggle with my Sadie Muffin. My life was good. I loved that life. I wanted that life. It was the life I thought I could have been content with… then I met Marc. He is quiet, he is shy, is a total nerd, he is very passive, he is the exact opposite of me, but he filled my life. I didn’t prepare for the emptiness.
Many of you might be saying suck it up, it’s not that big of a deal. And to you I say something my mother would not approve of.
It could possibly start with an ‘f’ and end with a ‘u’. :) This whole him being gone for boot camp is going to be easy compared to deployments, stations and all of the other Marine Corps stuff we will eventually have to put up with. (And to anybody that says 13 weeks with no talking and just writing letters really “isn’t that bad” or “that’s kind of sweet, nobody writes letters anymore”… I say, send your boyfriend or husband away for 13 weeks and try it yourself. When you do, get back to me.)
Once he graduates from Parris Island he comes home for 10 days before he leaves again. After that 10 day leave, he heads to Camp Lejeune for infantry training. That lasts 8 weeks. Immediately following Infantry School (assuming the training camp isn’t back logged) Marc will head to Recon School in hopes to becoming the best of the best in the Marine Corps. This training is much more intense and is compared to Navy Seals. This will last 12 weeks. So. Marc is gone for 13 weeks, comes home for 10 days and leaves for 20 weeks. Once his training is over, he will be stationed somewhere in the world. I can promise you it will not be Winston-Salem, NC.
Granted, I chose this life, and I will continue choosing it, but I just had this ah-ha moment about my future. This is my life now. When you blog, you kind of write about your life. Now do I want to be the whiny girl that complains about being alone all of the time? No. Marc got me a really pretty leather wrapped journal for Valentines Day for those rants. But for the foreseeable future, the Marines takes up a big chunk of this thing called my life.
Onto my next adventure. Hoorah.